Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
