Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
