i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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