Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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