I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
