if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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