...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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