i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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