Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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