in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
