On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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