I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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