9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
God I need to hump something, right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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