If i come over, it means nothing
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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