Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
