$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
