That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
