Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize