I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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