so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize