it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
