i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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