Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
