College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize