do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My cat gives me a boner
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
