I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Mom said you looked used
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
