I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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