so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
