"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
how drunk are you?
Several
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
