He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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