i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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