I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
