Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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