i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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