I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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