i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
