If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
