Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You may now shotgun with the bride
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize