so explain again why im purple
no
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
