Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
