Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
