Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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