was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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