So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
