Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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