just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
farters have to be the big spoon...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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