Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
