don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize