Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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