): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
