This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
