I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
