your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
