Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i need an iv and a liver transplant
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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