I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
