He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
