So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
