Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
