I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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