I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
