Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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