Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
