barbara walters just said penis...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
