I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
