Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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