Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
